Searching for the Moon

Shannon Clark's rambles and conversations on food, geeks, San Francisco and occasionally economics

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Posted by shannonclark on May 4, 2003

a odd few weeks

Hi all.

First, I know that I have not been posting here are frequently as I was – nothing bad, just exhaustion and lack of time, which is mostly a good thing.

For the past few weeks I have been very focused on selling, though not as focused as I hope to be in the next few weeks. Starting on Monday I may be going from having all sales essentially be done by me (with a few exceptions that have yet to see major results) to having perhaps as many as three possibly four or five people all contracted to my company to be independant sales reps.

Which is a very very good thing, but also one that will make me work even harder and longer hours (all good however). It means that I have been doing a lot of work on our code base to make it even more stable, reliable and easy to use. Now I will have to be working on sales materials (with help on this however thankfully) and hopefully soon after that will start having to attend sales calls with the salespeople to be the subject matter expert/technical expert as they work out deals for my software (and related services on top of it).

It is exciting and means that the light at the end of one tunnel is in sight – landing a few major clients would mean that I know, at least, where the money for the next few months (hopefully rest of the year) will be coming from, allowing me to concentrate on more interesting subjects than making payroll every few weeks.

So, I may be posting here a bit less frequently than in the past, though I will try to get back to here when I can.

On other matters, I had a great evening on Friday, hung out with a very cool friend – we ended up staying up all night and going out for early morning breakfast – though it is not as cool as it may sound. We wern’t alone, another friend of her and his sorta girlfriend joined us, and it is still not clear to me whether or not there is any potential for romance here.

On the very plus side – she is extremely attractive, jaw droppingly smart and successful (owns her own technology company, straight A student, reformed hacker, liberal arts major now running seriously geeky tech firm). In short, very much my “type” of woman. And she is, at least for the moment, single!

On the negative side, most negatively, I know that there is at least one guy she has had a year long crush on, and a fling with from time to time over the past year – so that makes it a bit less likely. Further, she is six years older than me and in many respects far more experienced than I (was in a serious relationship then marriage for 11 years, then another long term relationship for almost 6 years, has been single for just about a year or so). I suspect my one “long term” relationship of 9 months nearly 9 years ago, and having been basically single since then is in stark contrast.

But, I’ll certainly give it a shot – after all, how often do I meet incrediably attractive smart woman, probably more techy than me, who also share my love and passion for business, and who are also science fiction fans, understand why I would love going to a convention such as WisCon, would like to play chess with me some time, and are also highly creative types who love photography (which I do as well). In short how often do I meet women (or men for that matter, though there I’m not interested in them sexually) who are as left and right brained as I am, and who both share and understand my highly diverse interests but also have passionate ones of their own from which I might learn?

Very exciting.

So, that’s at least marginally hopeful that this year may be better than the past 9 have been.

And on related subjects (well somewhat). I have a book to finish by Thursday for a Political Science Fiction reading group to which I have joined. This month we are reading “Native Tongue” by Suzette Haden Elgin (whom I have met at past Wiscons). I am just getting into the book and while I am enjoying it, I am also a bit troubled by the starkness of how it depicts men and men’s perceptions of women. (which is, after all, a major plot point of the novel, it is set in an extremely Patriarchial version of America where women have essentially no status or rights). What troubles me is that it is not at all how I view women, but I now wonder it it is how many feminist women (many of whom I would think are my friends) think is how men view women (as second class people, as objects, as tools, as caregivers, as status symbols etc).

For me, I am most interested in a woman (in a romantic/sexual manner of interest) who would be a partner and mentor for me – that is, someone whose mind and ambitions I respect and admire as much as I enjoy her physical presence – and truly it should be the case that she enjoys my mind, ambitions, and physical presence as well, there is not much more attractive to me than someone who finds me attractive and interesting (okay, this has not happened to me very often but when it has.. not memories I forget easily). And when it comes to something like children, in the book the men are depicted as annoyed by children and eager to get rid of the children and/or to exploit them for financial gain. While I am not ready for having children yet (figure I first need to have been in a relationship for a while and be more stable in the rest of my life) I look forward to having children in the future, and I certainly plan on being very involved in the day to day raising of my children someday. And even before then, I certainly plan on doing my share of household tasks such as cooking (and yes, even cleaning, much more fun when you do it with someone else). I know that any woman I am seriously interested in will more than likely have a career of her own, not unlikely a very high powered and successful one (either as a profesional, a professor, a business executive, or an entrepreneur), so I fully expect that day to day household tasks will have to be shared by whomever’s schedule allows the time and flexibility to do them.

I do not see myself being interested in a relationship with someone merely biding time at some basic job, looking for “Mr. Right” and then planning on “just” being a homemaker (or shopping etc all day). The types of women I’m interested in would be bored by a dull, dead end job, and stifled by not having something to do.

Now, I could see being with a writer who might have periods of time while writing that would appar to someone observing them as time “just” being a homemaker, but that is different. And certainly I could see being in a relationship with someone in graduate school, again though, very different from not having ambitions and goals.

In two weeks a number of old friends will be in town for a bit of a reunion and to see a very good musical group that they enjoy play here in town. Unfortunately at the same time another friend is having his bachelor’s party (the first I have ever been invited to in my entire life!), so part of me wants to go to that. (he’s a fellow geek, the party starts with four hours of computer gaming, then becomes more typical in that they will be barhoppping all night long, however since my friend does not drink, non-drinkers will be welcome and no strippers are expected, so perhaps not a very typical bachelor’s party).

The weekend after that will be WisCon – which I am eagerly anticipating! (offering a ride from Chicago to Madison if anyone needs one, leaving Thursday around noon, driving back Monday sometime). I’m working out a semi-conflict with the hotel over my room, hopefully will in fact be getting the convention rate (seems likely the hotel laison is helping me resolve this). I might, in fact, have space to share if someone needed a room (seems the most likely way that I would then, of course, actually meet someone at Wiscon – i.e. by not having a hotel room all to myself… very much in keeping with my general expectations about life). But on a more serious note, I would not mind spliting the cost with someone (and the room will be nice, it is on the concourse level which also means free breakfasts and afternoon snacks and other niceties).

The weekend after Wiscon will be a Pig Roast! A very good friend of mine and her husband are having their second annual pig roast! And I am invited! Last year I cooked something like 5 or six dishes for their pig roast, this year I eagerly plan on doing much the same. Almost certainly another salad (with lots of fruits, soft cheeses and balsamic vinager), probably some apple dishes to compliment the roast pig, probably some grilled dishes (pinapples, perhaps mangoes? who knows what else) and I hope to come up with a few others as well – all fun, fairly easy dishes with great ingrediants. In short, a chance for me to have a lot of fun spending an afternoon cooking – one of my favorite tasks of all!

So this month is shaping up to be a very good one indeed – friends, activities, literature, good food and who knows perhaps a few good movies (X2, Matrix Reloaded, Better Luck Tomorrow at least are planned) and if my luck as really changed, perhaps a bit of spring romance… (okay, I can dream can’t I?)

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